Smartphone Saturday — Episode 02: THUNDERCATS!
Here’s this weekend’s edition of my custom ringtone series.
http://emperorx.net/emperor_x_-_ss02_20120602.zip
I got used to last week’s alarm too quickly. I even slept through it once, believe it or not. So I went with a little bit more harshness this time. The ringtone and alert tone are both samples this time too, not wave generators, one of which…well, you’ll hear it.
I think I posted a dead link for the CNET article with detailed instructions on installing custom ringtones for every kind of smartphone. Here’s a working one.
Have a great weekend!
WHO ARE THESE SAVAGE GANGSTERS WHO STOLE MY AIR CONDITIONER?!?
Investigators at Paste Magazine uncovered this CCTV footage of a brutal attack against me by three assailants and an opportunistic thief, pictured above. I was held at neon gunpoint, I was drenched and sissy-kicked mercilessly, and worst of all they stole my air conditioner just in time for summer. At least they left my expired LA Metro cards.
UPDATE (2012-05-30-1426 HRS) — Thanks to an anonymous tip we now believe a notorious Australian cartel boss/filmmaker named Adam Harding might have something to do with the heist.
UPDATE (2012-05-30-1535 HRS) — Looks like some people on the E.X Facebook wall are on to something. Maybe I can at least get my lost glasses back…
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Pedro Meadows They are GPS coodinates of the location of his mugging. Very sly chad, very sly!about an hour ago · ·
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Emperor X Timothy Lucero Ketcher Pedro Meadows Hm. I wonder if the thieves left anything buried at the site…?about an hour ago · · 2 -
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Emperor X Timothy Lucero Ketcher I don’t know, Tim, but man, I wish I had my glasses that dude stole. If you hear about anyone finding them, like around that tree in the video where they’re kicking me or something, let me know.
"Nap Time for Tom Coughlin"
I’ve been recording a lot of songs lately. Anyone want to hear a rough mix?
Smartphone Saturday: Episode 01
Every Saturday for the next month or two I’ll be recording or synthesizing blippy screechy audio for you and uploading it as a .zip file containing ring, alert, and alarm tones for smartphones in MP3 format. Here’s this weekend’s offering.
Installing the tones is a little easier on Android and Windows phones, but there are ways to coax them onto your iPhone too. If you’re a phone dork like me you probably already know how to do this. If not, it’s an easy project you can tackle before breakfast. This CNET.com article can walk you through the process for any mobile operating system. Have fun!
E.X EU/UK 2012!
Check this routing out.
I’ll post a bunch of U.S. shows once I get a few things nailed down over the next few days, but for now I had to post these because we just got them confirmed and I’m little-girl-in-the-Barbie-section-of-Toys-R-Us stoked. A set at an indie festival in Oslo? Singing for people in a shoe store in Frankfurt? Recording a live video in an administrative office in a city whose name I can barely remember how to spell, let alone pronounce, in Slovenia? Yep. 2012 rules.
29.06.2012 Oslo (NO), Gut Feelings Festival
02.07.2012 Berlin (DE), Schokoladen
03.07.2012 Frankfurt (DE), AZITA Store
05.07.2012 Ljubljana (SI), [a]Infoshop
06.07.2012 Munich (DE), innen: stadt. außen
08.07.2012 Bochum (DE), Rottstr. 5 Theater
09.07.2012 Gent (BE), Cafe Video
10.07.2012 Paris (FR), Le Trabendo *
12.07.2012 Liverpool (UK), Bold Street Coffee
13.07.2012 Bristol (UK), The Cube
14.07.2012 London (UK), The Waiting Room
* w/ Here We Go Magic
Now I just need to figure out the the European equivalent of Greyhound.
My friend Adam Harding is an Australian expat who just moved in to a new apartment. I opened the cupboard, which was completely empty except for…yep, count ‘em. THREE OF THEM. http://emperorx.net/vegemite.jpg
Bussed to the Future
I love public transit, but lets be real for a minute: intercity buses suck. Anyone who spends as much time on them as I do is going to have a few legitimate complaints. The seats are cramped and uncomfortable. Lots of passengers are childish or violent or unwashed and sick. The drivers are often petty wannabe-gym-teacher authoritarians (one of them once told me to “Have a merry Christmas, b*itch.”)
But for all the screaming infants and overflowing trash bins and blaring Fox News flatscreens and leering seatmates with knives, conditions on buses and in stations have been improving steadily over the past ten years. Nowhere is that improvement more visible than in — who knew? — Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
The Milwaukee Intermodal Station, pictured above and below, is a pristine Amtrak/Greyhound/Metra facility that grants transportation the dignity it deserves. What’s most remarkable about this station is the subtle way it changes how people carry themselves. There are still plenty of screaming babies and a grisly hobo or two puking into paper bags, but there’s also an air of poise and pride, like an airport boarding lounge. The gross outs are there, but they’re not the norm, not the product of the place itself. Faces express hope and optimism; postures are less stooped; strangers are more polite to one another. (These are all anecdotal claims and I’d like to read more about how specific architectural techniques affect crowd behavior to back my impression up. This editorialized reblog of a Scientific American article points to some interesting research on the topic.)
Space. Light. Clean lines. And in the center of it all, two big living trees — biophilia!
Surprisingly, the most difficult thing about traveling on the bus for me is the distorted impression it gives of the value of our race. A large portion of the people I interact with are hobbled semi-literate NASCAR fans gumming Doritos between rotting meth teeth and drinking themselves into high fructose corn syrup diabetes comas. When that’s what you see of humanity, it’s easy to lose confidence in the species for a little while. Call me dramatic if you want, but for anyone who’s spent the last four hours getting drooled on by a 400 pounder in cargo shorts and an oversized 50 Cent t-shirt, transferring buses at Milwaukee Intermodal can restore faith in conscious life. Thanks, WDOT.
(See? Even the soap dispensers look like aircraft joysticks. Wouldn’t that make you feel like you’re a part of something good and interesting after the overnight haul from Rochester, MN?)
Minnesota (and Meadville)
Three shows in Minnesota this week, plus one today in Meadville, PA.
TUE.05.01 | Meadville, PA
Allegheny College, Grounds for Change | Details
WED.05.02 | Winona, MN
Secret Cafe | Details
THU.05.03 | Minneapolis, MN
Echo Arts (Suite B) | Details
FRI.05.04 | Northfield, MN
St. Olaf College | Details
w/ Ryland Bouchard
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teach me your nerdy ways.